Men's Guide To Buying Lingerie

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Uncharted Territory | checklist | glossary

The time had come… Sweat beaded across my back. My hands were clammy. I licked my lips and looked around for support, but of course there was none – some things you have to do alone. I looked down at the tattered slip of paper clutched in my hand and thought to myself, You can do this. You’re the man. Life comes down to a series of moments – this is one. I inhaled a deep breath, then took my first step toward the entrance.

As expected, it was another world inside. Strange, intoxicating things hung from the walls, and I knew that a wrong decision now could spell a fate worse than death. Then suddenly, one of the female inhabitants spotted me and I knew there was no turning back. Like a rabbit caught in a spotlight, I waited motionless for the inevitable.

“Can I help you?”

Clumsily, I held out the Lovable Lingerie Checklist and stammered, “I’d like to buy some lingerie for my girlfriend. This is her… I mean these are the… Um, what I mean is—”

The woman smiled knowingly, “Oh sure. We’ve been expecting your kind. Come this way – we have much to talk about.”

That was how my first lingerie-purchasing experience began, and life has never been the same since. Lucky for you, I’ve brought back some invaluable tips on buying frilly things. You never know, it might just save your life (well, your sex life, anyway…).

So steel yourself. Focus. And take your first step toward impressing the heck out of the woman in your life.